There are an infinite amount of methods when it comes to raising a child, and as long as all laws and safety precautions are adhered to, it’s your choice as a parent how you proceed.

You hay have heard of authoritative parenting before, ie. the parent is in command, supporting their child with firm limitations and clear boundaries. This is how many of us were raised, and was a popular parenting choice throughout the 80s and 90s.

Recently, as we move into an era of primarily millennial new mothers and fathers, the gentle parenting style is certainly on the rise.

So - What is gentle parenting, and what does it entail?

Gentle parenting is seen as a collaborative process, with both child and parent working together to build solutions. The parent will be compassionate and understanding, while taking time to coach the child in what is right and wrong. Decisions are made together as a family, and disputes or frustrations are listened to from all sides.

Studies suggest that gentle parenting could provide some benefits for children. For example, the connection between child and parent can often be extremely strong, and open. Children of gentle parenting often have better emotional and social skills, for example feeling empathy for others, and being conscious of respect. It even goes so far as to suggest that children nurtured through gentle parenting can show less signs of anxiety as an adult.

But it is not all roses and sunshine! Of course, all parenting is a challenge, and some elements of gentle parenting are extremely difficult. For example, if you lack any authority at all, and your child chooses to act out, you can lose control very easily. Gentle parenting requires a LOT of patience, and sometimes this is just not possible for everyone.

Photo: Janko Ferlic via Unsplash

Once evening comes around, even the quietest of souls can turn into a whirlwind of emotions if they don’t want to go to sleep! So how can we apply gentle parenting to the toddler night time routine?

SELF CARE: You might find this an odd place to start, but taking care of yourself before trying to care for a tired toddler can really help you stretch your patience and maintain a calm and collected attitude for bedtime.

INVITE: Use invitations instead of commands. Invite your little one to begin the process of getting ready for bed together.

EXPLANATION: If you face resistance about getting ready for bed, gently explain how we feel when we get too tired, and how much better we feel when we’re rested after a lovely sleep.

THE THREE B’s: Book, bath, breast (or bottle). We always recommend these steps regardless of your parenting style, as the consistency of sleep cues is a great set up for lulling a baby or toddler off to peaceful sleep.

DON’T RUSH: If you find the bed routine is flashing past in a flurry of activity, then you’re going too fast. Enjoy the quiet moments, let your child bathe a little longer if they are benefiting from the experience with you.

BREATHE: No, seriously. This can be very helpful! Even from a young age, children can appreciate the calming effects of yoga or meditation. Trying to have a quiet moment of connection each night can be incredibly fulfilling.

SLEEPING BAG: Having a sleeping bag with a closed bottom is a great advantage. Why? Your toddler is much less tempted to try to stand up if their feet are enclosed. Simple! If you have a toddler who is constantly on the move and this is stopping them from sleeping, try a sleeping bag and you’ll find you have to coax them back to bed much less, which keeps the environment chilled and happy!

Once your child is off to sleep, relax mama! You’ve made it through another beautiful day of motherhood. And no matter which parenting style you choose, we know you've got this.